Konsten jag gör till mig själv

I have been painting and drawing for as long as I can remember. The last thirteen years as a professional artist.
Creation has always been my place, my language and my way of expressing myself.

My motifs have over the years revolved around female figures and nature. Recurring shapes, recurring themes, as if they had always been there waiting to be placed on paper or canvas.

But in recent years something has changed.
Painting has not felt as obvious & inspiring as it used to. Joy has sometimes felt more distant. Blockages have come more often, along with a stubborn feeling of never really being satisfied. I have turned and twisted the question within myself: What is missing? Do I need to change my style completely? Technique? Expression?

In a world where social media is constantly present, it is easy to both find inspiration and at the same time lose your footing. To compare yourself. Feeling that what you do might not be enough..
But in recent days something has become clear to me. As if a candle was slowly turned on.

When I tried to put my ideal customer into words the other day, an exercise that most entrepreneurs face sooner or later, all those questions came to mind:
How does he want to surround himself?
What kind of atmosphere does he long for in his home?
Where does he live?
Lifestyle? Family??

Questions that easily become abstract, almost impossible. The kind you mostly sit around guessing. But then the realization came. Suddenly and almost laughably clear.

My ideal customer is me!

It made me stop.
What really makes me feel inspired? When everything falls into place, when it feels at home, natural, inspiring without the slightest trace of confusion? The answer has always been there.
Ceramics.

Ceramics has always been easy for me. Playful. Full of pleasure. And what I love about it is the material. The raw feeling, the connection to nature, the resistance and the meditativeness of creating in clay. That's exactly what I want to bring into my painting.
To work more with the feeling of raw nature. With materiality. With presence.

In the future, I want to paint as if each work is for myself.
As if I'm creating a real "Masterpiece" for myself. Not to impress, but because it has to exist. Something that awakens desire again. Something that feels true.

And maybe it's right there, in what feels most authentic, that joy has always been waiting.

I won't change my imagery or my motifs completely.
They are part of me, of my history and my way of seeing. But I will listen more. Feel in. Allow the process to take the time it actually needs.

I want to let go of the stress of having to create something quickly.
Not create to fill a flow or meet a pace that is not mine.
Instead, stay in the feeling, work slower, deeper – and let each piece develop on its own terms.

This is a shift for me. A softer way of working, but at the same time more uncompromising. More true.

I hope you want to join me on this journey.
And I sincerely hope that you will feel what I feel and like what emerges.

Here is one of my "moodboards"
A collection of images, colors and expressions that serve as a reminder. About the feeling I want to carry with me in the creation, the color scale, the materials and the atmosphere that feels truly at home.

And here is my latest painting, which when I started was full of confusion, but ended with my newfound inspiration :-)

"Where the light lingers"